


Something More

by angelswatchingover



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 11x04 Coda, Baby has a spirit, Coda, Episode: s11e04 Baby, First Kiss, M/M, POV Impala, Sam is an awesome brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2015-11-07
Packaged: 2018-04-30 09:43:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5159111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelswatchingover/pseuds/angelswatchingover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of "Baby" Dean can't stop thinking about what Sam said about wanting something more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something More

It was a rough hunt, but one she is quite proud of. She’s always been a bit of a thief, but this time it really paid off. Sometimes she keeps things for sentimental reasons.She’s definitely never letting go of Sam’s army man or Dean’s Legos. Sometimes it's just a feeling that she gets, almost a higher power telling her to hold onto a hair pin, for example. It has helped her boys a surprising number of times. 

There was the time that she hid Dean’s keys under her seat when she knew that he was in no condition to drive. It was just after Sam had left for Stanford and she could feel his usual sharp, alert mind was sluggish, angry, and erratic after spending hours in a bar. She did let him have his keys back, but only after a few hours of cradling him safely in her backseat while he slept it off.

And it wasn’t just Dean. She helped Sam when she could as well. She refused to start one time after Dean had died, because Sam was knowingly driving straight into a nest of demons. His mind was so clouded with mourning over Dean that he was reckless. She did her best to protect him from his own grief.

The Winchester boys are hers, and she is theirs. 

So when the hair pin she stole helped her Dean get free and the coins from the purse of the girls who had taken her for a ride that afternoon saved his life, she felt proud of a job well done. But this victory came at a cost and she feels every dent and break that this exhausting day has resulted in. It was only in response to Dean’s encouragement that she was even able to drudge up every bit of energy she could to turn over her engine.

But now, she is home… this permanent home is a new concept for her. Home has always been miles of two lane blacktop with a Winchester at her wheel. Home has always been standing sentry outside of cheap motels as her charges rest their hunt weary bodies. It’s classic rock blaring from her speakers, wind whipping through the open windows, and the hearty sound of laughter from her boys. It’s quiet nights parked in dark fields under star lit skies listening to the lullaby of Sam and Dean as they talk about everything and nothing. And, lately, it’s also been that warm, happy, fluttery feeling that Dean gets when his angel is riding along, completing their little family.

She has begun to love Castiel as one of her own. When he is around, from Sam she can feel a sense of family and the excitement of an intellectually stimulating conversation partner with infinite knowledge to discuss. From Dean, she detects a thousand tumultuous emotions swirling around the angel. She senses things like love, fear, elation, confusion, protectiveness, friendship, and desire. It's a confusing flood of emotions that leaves her sure of only one thing; that this man makes her boys happy, and for that, she is willing to adopt him as one of her own.

As they pull into the bunker, she tries to steady her engine a bit, wanting to coast proudly into her space in the center of the garage. The other cars never seem to notice, though. 

Dean gets out and takes a slow walk around her, whistling low and rubbing a hand over his bloodied face. He rubs her hood and whispers, “Rest up, Baby. You’re getting some TLC in the morning.”

“You, uh… you need any help, you know, fixing the Impala?” Sam asks his brother and Baby preens a bit at the idea of both brothers taking care of her.

“I don’t even want to think about what all she needs yet. I’m going straight to sleep for the next 12 hours. Do not disturb.”

“You got it,” Sam laughs a little then groans at the pain that the smile brings where his face is bruised.

The boys get their bags from her trunk and trudge slowly down the steps into the bunker and turn off the lights. Baby is content that she, once again, carried her boys safely home.

***

The next morning, Dean lumbers into the garage with a mug of coffee in one hand and a notebook in the other. She can still detect pain and injuries from him. He places the mug on her roof and pops a tape in her stereo, playing the music softly in the background while he takes his time to make a list of everything that needs repaired. 

He has just begun to examine under her hood, when Sam arrives at his side and he emanates healthy body and sharp mind. 

“There you are,” he says to Dean. “What’s going on with you? I thought you were going to let Cas heal you? That’s kind of the advantage of having a literal angel living with us.”

“I am. I just… I’m fine, alright?” Dean continues to check her engine and update his list of her injuries.

“Dean, Cas is worried. And you know what? So am I. What’s going on with you?”

Dean stops and places both hands on her grill but doesn’t turn around. “Nothing. I just have a lot of work to do. Look at this car.”

“I thought we had a deal. I let Cas fix me up. Now it’s your turn.”

“I don’t want--” Dean starts and turns to face Sam, “Why are you pushing so hard on this?”

“Because, I know what you’re doing. You’re punishing yourself for the Darkness and the Mark and... I don’t know, probably the fall of the Roman Empire. Not everything is your fault, Dean.”

“Yeah, well, it sure feels like it, sometimes.” Dean pauses and pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers, squeezing his eyes closed tightly. Baby can feel his uncertainty swirling around inside of him like a building storm. “You weren’t there, Sam. I… I almost killed him.”

Sam snorts, “So that’s what this is about? Have you met Cas? The guy can take a licking and keep on ticking. I know you roughed him up, and yeah, you were all ‘roided up on the Mark, but did you ever think maybe he didn’t fight back for a reason?”

“No, Sam, you don’t understand. I almost killed him. I had his blade in my hand. I had him pinned and I was going to use it. I _wanted_ to use it. I don’t even know what stopped me because when I brought my hand down I had every intention of it going through his heart. And you know what he did? Nothing! The fucking bastard just laid there and said my name. Fuck!” Dean slams his hand down on the dented edge of her grill and pulls his hand away, shaking it in pain. Baby feels every sharp edge of his pain and frustration.

Sam gives his brother a sympathetic look that Dean hates, “You know he forgave you, right?”

“Great, that makes one of us. Hey, what did he say about your mellon, anyway? You know, from when you were _infected_ and didn’t let me know you were dying?”

Sam huffs and looks away for a second and Baby can feel his mind racing for the right words. 

“I’m sorry, Dean. I knew you had to get Jenna and Amara to safety and they wouldn’t have been safe if you turned around and brought them back to a town full of zombies. But you’re right. I should have told you. And that’s on me. But you know now. I’ve told you everything. But now I need you to talk to me, too. That’s the only way this is going to work. We’ve tried the ‘hiding crap from each other’ route and we’ve seen how well that works out.”

Dean side-eyes his brother and turns back to the engine, “Wanna get out of my light?”

Sam sighs, but he does move to the side. “Dean, I can tell something’s wrong. Is it the Darkness?”

Dean places both hands on Baby’s grill and sighs, lowering his head. “We’re really going to do this, huh? It’s not the Darkness… well, it’s not _just_ the Darkness. It’s… what you said, you know… about wanting something?”

“Look, Dean, I didn’t mean right now. I’m not running away with Piper. Hell, she didn’t even want my number. I’m not out looking for anyone else right now either. I just meant that it’s OK for us to want something more.”

Dean turns to face his brother. “It’s not you. It’s… you were right. Maybe I do want... something. But, look at me, Sam. I’m damaged goods. I break every God damn thing I touch.”

“That’s not true.”

“Oh yeah? I couldn’t protect Charlie or Bobby or Kevin. I unleashed an evil on the world that even the freaking monsters are afraid of. And there’s a broken angel in there wrapped up in a blanket bingeing crappy TV shows whose entire family wants to kill him because of me. Pretty sure that ‘something more’ isn’t in the cards for me.”

Baby can feel Sam’s frustration when he bursts out, “Well, I’m pretty sure your ‘something more’ just finished season two of the Walking Dead and needs his best friend to get his head out of his ass because his family is full of dicks and we’re about all he has left!”

Dean’s emotions tumble over each other so quickly she can barely tell one from the next, but shock and fear overpower the others. “What?! You think me and Cas-”

Sam puts his hands up to stop Dean, “Hey, when I said something more, I didn’t say what that has to look like. God, Dean, I’m not saying it has to be a wife and 2 kids in the suburbs. You can define it however you want. Maybe your _something more_ doesn’t have to fit into a standard box. I mean, you live in a bunker, you kill evil shit, and you have the King of Hell on speed dial. I get that normal doesn’t really apply here. I’m just saying there’s already someone who understands your life that makes you pretty damn happy and maybe that’s it for you.”

Dean squints at his brother, intensely focused. “What are you saying?”

Sam shrugs, “I’m saying that I’ve thought about this a lot. I used to think I would get that life. With Jess, you know? But then hunting became everything and I thought I could never have anything like that again. And then I met Amelia and even though I loved her I don’t really think I could have ever made it work. What I realized, mostly since we came here, is that I love this work. I do. I love hunting and saving people and there’s no one else I want to do that with but you. And I feel like being a Man of Letters has given me that. But you know what else I realized? That we are better with Cas. He forces us to put our bullshit aside and work as a team. And I really like that he makes my brother smile ‘cause not much does that these days.”

Dean rolls his eyes, “Look, you’re right. I love having the guy here. His running commentary on the inaccuracies of the rate of flesh decay on zombies is worth it alone,” he laughs. “But, dude, he’s got shit to do. What makes you think he’ll even hang around once he’s all healed up?”

“Well, two things actually. One: he’s got nowhere else to go. I mean, his family just tried to kill him. He needs us. But more than that, Dean, I kind of think he just wants to be where you are.”

Dean tries to protest, “Oh, come-”

But Sam stops him, “Jesus, Dean! I thought maybe you’d figure this out on your own. But how can you not see it? He has nothing left - no father, no family, no home - and you know why? Because at every turn he is willing to sacrifice it all for you. And why do you think that is?”

To Dean’s dumbstruck look, Sam just continues, “You don’t have to answer that. But think about it. And while you’re thinking about that, I’m sending him up here to fix you up. You look like shit.”

“You look like shit,” Dean grumbles under his breath. Sam hears it and pointedly ignores his brother as he retreats into the bunker. 

Dean continues his inspection under her hood, occasionally mumbling about crazy brothers and angels that can’t even stay in one place anyway. It’s only a short time, though, before Baby feels Castiel’s presence behind Dean. He feels it too and stills. 

“I know. Sam sent you up here to mojo my boo boos all better. Really, Cas, I’m fine.”

“Dean-”

“Hey, hand me that flashlight, will ya?” Dean interrupts. “Shit! Looks like we’re going to be down two cars ‘till I can get her back to hunting shape and we find your Lincoln.” 

Castiel hands Dean the flashlight he asked for and watches as he continues his ministrations. “She’s just relieved that you weren’t seriously hurt by the nachz--”

“Ah ah,” Dean scolds good-heartedly turning to Cas and wagging a warning finger at him.

“Excuse me, goul-pire,” he responds and Baby can feel the wave of humor and affection as the angel’s mouth ticks up into a small smile.

“Wait, what do you mean _she’s relieved?_ Who?”

Castiel tilts his head and squints, “Your car,” he says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “Baby, as you call her.”

“What?”

“Well, relieved is the closest approximation to a human emotion that I can place onto what she is feeling.”

Dean puts down the flashlight, closes her hood, and leans against her, crossing his arms as he takes in Castiel for a long moment, jaw moving slightly ready for words that take time to form. “It’s a car, Cas. She can’t feel… can she?”

“In a very rudimentary way, yes, she can. Very rarely, inanimate objects can develop a type of spirit, especially one as loved as your Impala.”

‘Woah,” Dean says holding up one hand before pointing at Baby. “Are you telling me I Velveteen Rabbited my _car_?”

“Hmmmm,” Cas tilts his head and pauses, thinking about how to explain this, “I suppose that children’s story could be a loose approximation of this phenomenon. However, in this case it wasn’t caused by a fairie. Fairies are generally not magnanimous and would most likely be offended at the idea of being used to grant wishes for toys. Animism is a better way to explain your car’s spirit.”

Dean thinks for a moment, his sharp mind quickly pulling from his vast library of knowledge. “So like Shamanism? You’re saying shit like trees and rivers and… cars really have spirits?”

Castiel smiles, “Only rarely. And, you must understand, the spirits don’t think and act as humans do. They have a very primitive set of feelings of their own and they can sense some human emotion. It can take centuries for the spirit to develop and, occasionally, these spirits can even gain power, becoming some of the lesser gods. Your car… _Baby_ … is practically an infant. Her consciousness came into being during your youth and is almost entirely an extension of you… and your brother.”

Dean looks stunned, standing with wide eyes as he drags a hand through his hair and blows out a long breath of air. “Shit, maybe I need to be more careful with her?”

Castiel smiles, “Dean, there are few people in the world who care for their car as you do. It’s why she has a consciousness to being with. Were you to lock her away in this garage to protect her, her spirit would most likely fade and eventually dissipate altogether. She receives energy and purpose from you and Sam. She feels quite protective of you.”

Dean lets out a nervous laugh, “I can’t believe I’m having this conversation.”

“I don’t know why. You have always treated her as if she were alive, it’s because of you that she is.”

Baby practically bursts with love for Castiel and he must feel it because he reaches out and rests a hand on her side panel smiling softly at Dean and she can feel a pulse of kinship that he directs at her.

“She is happiest hunting… with you.” Castiel doesn’t say anything for a long moment. He looks down, thinking and she can feel his apprehension. “I understand her.”

Dean’s eyes snap to Castiel’s face, “Wait, you understand her because you speak every language from bumblebee to Impala? Or you… are happy hunting?” Dean doesn’t say _with me_ but Baby can hear it in his head and detects the insecurity that keeps him from saying the words out loud. 

Castiel hesitates but finally says, “I apologize if I have been unclear. I understand her desire to hunt… with you. I… I am an angel of the Lord, Dean, but I don’t feel part of the host any longer. I’m not...” he lets out a sigh of frustration. “For as long as I can remember - and, Dean, that is an extremely long time - I never thought to question that I could be or want anything more or less than that. I am an angel, part of a collective, and I was… _satisfied_ to be a part of that whole. I never considered wanting something for myself. That is until the moment I met you in hell.

“That was the day I first experienced pride and want and soon after would follow doubt. You, Dean, were the most challenging, frustrating, and confounding mission I had ever been given. Imagine me... powerful, righteous, eternal and yet I found myself wanting this tiny mortal man to understand my deepest doubts.”

“Not so tiny,” Dean manages to snark with a quirk of his eyebrow and a smirk that Castiel can’t help but smile at. 

Castiel rolls his eyes, “Dean, I could traverse the universe in the blink of an eye and my true form contained enough power to make the earth quake as I escaped hell with your soul. Tiny is relative.”

“Well, now you’re just bragging,” Dean quips with a smile that goes all the way to his eyes.

Baby senses Castiel’s resolve break down. And she understands completely. Dean’s humor and smile are quite irresistible. 

He stares at Dean, “What I’m trying to say is that I no longer feel at home among angels. And I feel a sense of purpose hunting with you that I don’t feel with the host. I choose you… if you’ll have me.”

Dean’s smile fades and he blinks a few times and Baby can feel his warring emotions. Part of him is terrified, part of him feels unworthy, and part of him is so happy that she can feel the joy emanating off of him. 

When he doesn’t respond, Castiel finally breaks the silence with a resigned, “At least let me heal you. Let me do that much.”

Dean stares at Castiel, unable to break eye contact and Baby wishes there was something she could do to help. She feels Dean’s crippling fear, has felt it for years. There’s no hair pin or handful of pennies that can solve this problem. But Dean does lean against her and this she can do, she can be a solid support for the man whose insides are a torrent of nerves.

Castiel steps closer and reaches out to him, placing his open palm against his jaw and instantly, she can feel Dean’s aches and sluggishness clear. She feels herself relax along with Dean as she has always been a reflection of him. 

Castiel gives Dean a sad smile and turns to go back into the bunker but Dean catches his wrist. 

“Wait…”

When Castiel turns back to face him, he immediately drops his hold on his wrist and rubs the back of his neck. And after a long moment of awkward silence he mumbles, “Yeah.”

The angel’s eyebrows raise and he takes a moment to examine Dean trying to figure him out. “I don’t--” he begins but is cut off by Dean.

“Yeah, I want you to stay… with us… with _me_.”

Castiel nods, “Of course, Dean. Thank you. I do enjoy the water pressure here.”

As Dean laughs, Baby can feel the tension easing, “Dude, thought you just mojo-ed clean.”

“I do. But I have learned that even with my grace, I can enjoy physical pleasures with my human body. Hannah taught me that,” the memory of his friend a bittersweet one after her recent betrayal and death.

Dean experiences a brief rush of jealousy at the mention of Hannah but that is overpowered by a stir of want at Cas’ mention of physical pleasures. 

“Cas, do you… have you… ever thought of something more?”

“Of course, Dean. I spend a great deal of time contemplating creation beyond what I know. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy this bunker. This place is full of knowledge and I enjoy learning more.”

Dean sighs, obviously frustrated that Castiel didn’t understand his meaning. “No, man, I mean more like, with someone? I don’t know. Sam just got me thinking and… I was kind of wondering… if you’d ever want more… with me.”

He lets out a ragged breath and with it seven years of pent up fear.

“Dean… I have existed longer than you can even comprehend and I have seen millions of wonders of creation. And yet, in all of that time, I have never desired anything so much as you.”

Dean goes still for a long moment, blinking several times. Baby can feel his fear but she also knows that this man’s courage knows no bounds.

“I… I think I want to kiss you, Cas,” he says as he pushes himself off of her. “Is that OK?”

Castiel says nothing, but he nods slowly as Dean steps into the gap between them. And that tiny motion is all the encouragement Dean needs. His emotions suddenly turn from fear to excitement as he reaches out and takes the angel’s face gently in his hands and places a soft kiss on his mouth. A powerful wave of affection and relief that takes over him as he tilts his head deepens the kiss slightly. He is emanating a litany of _CasYesLoveMineFinally_ and if Baby had a face she would be grinning ear to ear at how happy her boy is right now. 

And Castiel is just as lost in the waves of adoration that she can feel from him. He responds to the kiss by closing his eyes and tentatively placing his hands on Dean’s hips. One of Dean’s hands slides through Castiel’s hair and comes to rest at the back of his head. The kiss is slow and sweet, an exploration as their mouths move together and Dean gently sucks Castiel’s bottom lip between his own. 

Castiel lets out a low moan then, which encourages Dean as the warmth of desires spreads through his body. With a movement as agile as a cat, he turns them both until he is pressing Castiel into Baby’s side with one knee between his legs and placing a hand behind him on her hood. 

The surprise movement causes Castiel’s breath to hitch but he follows Dean’s every movement like a dancer following a long time partner’s lead. Dean has wanted this for so long. For years Baby has felt his desire for the angel, to be with him, to talk to him, to protect him. It scared him, wanting to be with someone like Castiel, who always seemed so unfathomable, timeless, and elusive. And there was always something in their way, some obstacle that seemed unsurmountable, like the angel Gadreel possessing Sam, Castiel’s fading grace, or the Mark of Cain darkening Dean’s soul. Finally, her boys are all healthy and themselves and there is no longer anything standing in the way of Dean and Cas finding love and happiness in one another. 

Dean’s mouth moves across Cas’ jaw and he settles just under his ear, nuzzling into Cas’ neck, mumbling his awe, “Fuck, Cas. Didn’t ever think you wanted this. Feel amazing.” He breathes in the scent of the angel and it’s so perfect he wants to burrow himself under Cas’ skin. 

Castiel tilts his head to the side to give Dean room to explore as his own hand roams up Dean’s arm and slides under his t-shirt to rest on the bare skin of his shoulder, holding the hunter close. “Oh, Dean,” he sighs and the low roughness of his voice sends a thrill of want through Dean. His other hand wraps around the hunter’s waist and caresses down until he cups his ass and pulls, grinding the two men together in a delicious flash of pleasure.

“Wait,” Dean rushes out between heavy breaths, pulling back and holding Castiel’s shoulders, his eyes darting quickly back and forth between Castiel’s. 

“I’m sorry Dean--”

“No, don’t,” he interrupts. “Fuck! I want this… Jesus, do I want this. But I gotta slow down, man. It’s just… you’re a guy. And it’s not like I have a problem with dudes, but… it’s just something that’s going to take some time to get used to, you know?”

Castiel gives Dean a look so full of love and understanding that he has to look away. “Of course, Dean. A lifetime of struggling with same sex attraction will certainly take time to overcome. I’m willing to wait. I just want to be with you in whatever capacity you are comfortable with.”

Dean turns away and drags a hand over his face, “Shit, Cas, you don’t deserve to deal with my crap.”

Castiel reaches for his shoulder and gently turns him around. “Dean, it would be my honor to, as you say, deal with your crap. It’s what people do for the ones they love. You said you wanted something more. That doesn’t need to include physical affection if you don’t enjoy it.”

Dean huffs a bitter laugh, “I thought it was pretty obvious I enjoyed it. I just… can we take it slow? It’s a lot to get used to.”

“Of course, Dean,” Castiel responds with a soft smile.

“One sec,” Dean responds holding up a finger and he ducks away from Cas’ hand. He opens the driver’s side door and shuffles through the tapes in the box on the floor until he finds what he is looking for an pops it into Baby’s stereo. REO Speedwagon begins playing and Dean smiles, mumbling to himself, “just let the music do the talking.”

He steps back out of the car and tugs on Castiel’s hand, pulling him towards the back seat, where they tumble down to her bench in a tangle of bodies and limbs that ends with Dean leaning back against her door with Castiel leaning into him, held close in Dean’s arms. 

The music plays, _I can’t fight this feeling any longer. And yet I’m still afraid to let it flow. What started out as friendship has grown stronger. I only wish I had the strength to let it show_ and Dean hums along with the music as he rubs a calloused thumb over the angel’s cheek. 

Baby cradles them in the comfort of her soft black leather and does her best to envelop them in her protective maternal energy. She has experienced so much with her boys. She has been there through their triumphs and their tears, their laughs and their loves. But she can’t remember a time when she was happier, knowing that all three of her boys are safe and together as she basks in the waves of love and hope and pleasure that are radiating from her Dean.

As Dean leans in to kiss Castiel again, he feels that maybe Sam is right. Something more doesn’t need to look like anything in particular. Something more can be hunting as a team of three with his brother and his best friend. Something more can be a growing family that includes two awesome lady cops and his angel’s kind-of daughter who maybe doesn’t hate him and can definitely beat him in mini-golf. Something more somehow includes a kick ass car with a spirit of it’s own (how is this even his life)? And Something more can be a sort of human sort of angel in a stupid trenchcoat currently sighing under his touch who shares a profound bond and makes him happier than any other partner ever has. And, best of all, that something can keep growing into more and, for the first time in just about forever, Dean is actually looking forward to what might come next.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this little fic. It started out as just a quick coda in Baby's POV but I was having so much fun shocking Dean with the concept of her having a spirit it took on a life of its own (OK pun intended). 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at [AngelsWatchingOver.Tumblr.com](http://angelswatchingover.tumblr.com/)


End file.
